So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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