by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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