My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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