I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How's work?
Spinning.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you made out with another girl for some wings
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
