DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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