Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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