Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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