walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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