Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
