I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
