I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
