I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
