'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize