The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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