I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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