I wish my penis had an off switch
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
