My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
