I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
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Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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