just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize