i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she peed on how many people?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just googled if crying burns calories
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
