I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
