My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
being pregnant is like rehab
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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