Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
