she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize