Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
