nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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