Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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