i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
