Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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