Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
