Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
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Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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