3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
