dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
