butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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