Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
