True but thats because hes a fetus.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize