I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
