Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
