so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
