So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
