Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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