As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize