DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I cockslap morals
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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