I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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