I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
