And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
