i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
