Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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