doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
