and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
