the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
