There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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