Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
